why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
