Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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