You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
