ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
