that's an acceptable place to lick
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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