im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
