you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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