I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
