If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
