Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
