Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
