so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
