I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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