do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
