I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
