Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
