so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
