everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
FUCK WHALES
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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