its not stalking. its research.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
