I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
