my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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