I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
