And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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