You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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