I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
