its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
