did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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