if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
