And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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