You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
