Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
