well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
