Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
