She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
