I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
