All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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