i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
