Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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