how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
