You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
