you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
