I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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