so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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