i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
