I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
there is puke in my bra ... again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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