thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the day after is always just damage control
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
