I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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