I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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