Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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