its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
